“Listening is about taking a journey to the interior of the other person” – Hermann Hesse
Have you ever asked yourself: Do I truly listen to others, or do I just hear their words?
Active listening means being fully present, not just with your body or your words, but with your mind and emotions as well. It’s the art of paying attention to what is said and what is not said: body language, tone of voice, and even the emotions behind the words.
According to Albert Mehrabian’s famous communication model:
• 7% of communication is conveyed through words
• 38% through tone of voice
• 55% through body language
This is where the difference lies between simply hearing and actively listening.
Here are 6 powerful steps to cultivate the art of deep listening:
1. Be Fully Present
Presence is not just about showing up physically or turning on your camera. It’s about showing up with your body, mind, and heart—while eliminating distractions such as your phone, emails, or preparing your next response.
Example: When a colleague speaks about an important project, give them your undivided attention. They will feel that their words matter.
2. Embrace Silence – Don’t Interrupt
Different people communicate differently—some share the core message at the beginning, others leave it to the end. If you interrupt, you risk missing the most important part.
Example: In meetings, allow the speaker to finish—even if you already have an answer. Silence opens the door to deeper understanding.
3. Use Signals of Engagement
Small signals can create big impact: short eye contact, a nod, or a gentle smile can encourage trust and connection.
Example: During a conversation, a simple nod or “mm-hmm” can invite the other person to continue.
Be mindful of cultural differences: in some cultures, prolonged eye contact may be seen as intrusive rather than attentive.
4. Stay Open and Curious
It’s natural to evaluate or judge what we hear—but that often blocks true connection. Instead, transform your thoughts and judgments into curious, open-ended questions that invite deeper sharing.
If your inner voice says: “They won’t finish on time”, ask:
What are your current priorities? What might you adjust to meet the deadline? What support would help you succeed?
If you think: “I won’t get the outcome I want”, say:
I know you’re highly skilled, and I’d love to ensure we’re aligned. Could we spend a few minutes clarifying expectations? What exactly will be delivered?…by when, and …how?
If your judgment is: “She won’t collaborate with the team”, ask:
From your perspective, what’s the best way to collaborate effectively with your colleagues? What do you see as your role within the team? What could make teamwork easier for everyone?
By shifting from judgment to curiosity, you not only change your own behaviour you also give the other person the gift of being truly heard.
5. Summarise and Check Understanding
Paraphrasing in your own words shows that you care and confirms alignment.
Example: “So, what I hear is that you’ll complete the first stage by Wednesday, correct?” or “Thank you for your time—let me summarize the key points we discussed to make sure we’re on the same page.”
6. Stay Calm and Centered
Not all conversations are easy. When emotions rise, remind yourself of the bigger purpose. Pause, breathe deeply, and notice your posture and tone. Even a short breathing exercise can shift your energy, soften your expression, open your body language, and ground your presence.
Deep listening is both a human and leadership skill—one that can be refined with awareness and practice until it becomes second nature.
And remember: just as you listen to others, don’t forget to listen to yourself as well. True listening begins within tuning into your body, mind, emotions, aligning with your core values, and reconnecting with what matters most. This inner awareness is the foundation that allows us to listen deeply, lead authentically, and create meaningful connections with others… a topic we will explore in another article.
Rehab Abbas – Leadership & Somatic Coach | Stress & Wellbeing Coach | Certified Values Facilitator
At EWest Connect, I help leaders cultivate active listening that begins within — strengthening their ability to tune into their own body, values, and energy. From this inner awareness, they learn to truly listen to, understand, and inspire others — creating authentic connections and meaningful impact.